DEAR ABBY: Throughout my 40-year marriage, I wondered if my husband was bisexual. He met his friend “Ernie” around the same time I did. My husband always had female friends besides Ernie. When he came home late, I accused him of having affairs with his female co-workers.
We stayed together, although there were many arguments. Years ago, my brother-in-law went golfing with my husband and Ernie. My brother-in-law told me my problem was not another woman, but a man. When I asked him why he thought that, he said my husband and Ernie lived in their own little world. He said he wasn’t jealous of their friendship, but that was just his opinion.
Long story short, not too long ago my husband and three other friends went on a golf outing. There was a king bed in the master bedroom, a second bedroom with two queen beds and a sleeper sofa. I asked my husband about the sleeping arrangements and he said one slept on the couch, one in the room with two queen beds and he and Ernie shared the king bed.
When I asked what the other guys thought about the two of them sleeping in the same bed, he yelled, “I don’t care what they thought!” I said, “And you don’t seem to care what your wife thinks either.”
My husband has always said, “There is no other woman. You know I love you.” He has always denied being bi. He makes me feel like I’m crazy. Please tell me what you think. — FINALLY THE SAUER IN DELAWARE
DEAR FED UP: Two men sharing a bed when there is another option is questionable in my opinion. Having never met your husband, I hesitate to say whether or not he is cheating on you with Ernie. Being bisexual does not make one an adulterer. If he confirmed your suspicions that he is bisexual, would that change your long-standing marriage? THAT, my friend, is the $64,000 question.
DEAR ABBY: I’m sure I’m not alone in this issue. Sometimes I run into a former coworker, a former classmate, someone I met at a previous gathering, etc. at a restaurant, mall, grocery store, etc. and can’t remember his or her name at the moment. This is especially embarrassing if my spouse or a friend is with me and I can’t introduce the person.
Sometimes when I’m with someone and I see an acquaintance before they see me, I take a detour to avoid the embarrassment of not being able to remember the name. When I’m alone, I have no problem talking to the person even if I can’t remember the name. My problem is these awkward introductions. Any suggestions? — FORGOTTEN IN HAWAII
DEAR FORGETFUL: I agree, it IS awkward and it happens to everyone. It happened to me occasionally when I was in my twenties and had to introduce my date to someone. There is a way around this, provided you’re quick enough. If you don’t want to admit to a “senior moment,” greet your old coworker, friend, etc. and say something like, “Hi! How NICE to see you!” Then turn to your spouse (or friend) and say, “We used to work together,” and have them introduce themselves.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Jeanne Phillips