Until last night, I had no idea that there was something called “Fanatics Fan Fest” happening in New York City this weekend. I’m not entirely sure what it is, other than a major Fanatics promotional event. OK, yeah, I guess that’s exactly it. But based on the TikTok and Twitter videos alone, if I were 9 years old and saw those videos, anything to be there. My 9-year-old self would have killed a hooker to be there. I would have learned what a hooker was, stolen money from my dad’s wallet, found the most irresponsible adult in Bowling Green, Ohio who was willing to drive me 30 minutes to Toledo where the hookers are, and then killed one with my bare hands if it meant I could get into Fanatics Fan Fest.
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If you had shown me this list of games and activities to participate in at Fanatics Fan Fest when I was a kid before I saw the videos, I would have immediately agreed to those terms if my parents told me that if they took me there I would not get any Christmas or birthday presents for an entire year (maybe two years).
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Even as an adult, it looks pretty damn cool. Although I have to assume that in reality, if you buy a $50 ticket, your time at Fanfest will not quite are similar to what is shown on Twitter. I actually think it would be hell on earth. Since tickets are only $50, I’m sure the crowds are insane. You probably have to stand in line for three hours shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of strangers to spend 15 seconds with Jalen Brunson.
And I can only imagine the additional costs once you’re inside. Come to think of it, as much as that would be my 9-year-old self’s dream, it would probably have been my parents’ worst nightmare. Just a whole day of being in crowds of people and having to beg them for money to buy God knows what. I’d probably end up in tears at some point because I can’t always do exactly what I want. I just know there are some parents out there going through hell today.
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But on Twitter, the Javits Center looks like a young sports fan’s version of paradise this weekend. Shoutout to all the kids (and even adults) venturing out into the crowds this weekend. Even if it’s only half as much fun as it’s portrayed online, it looks like a hell of a time.
