American chooses Spain for a better life, but now regrets not moving sooner

I took my first trip abroad when I was 17. For my birthday, I asked my parents to send me to the Netherlands to visit my best friend. I was bitten by the travel bug.

After that, I worked all year round every year to finance my summer vacation in Europe.

I visited Madrid for the first time in 2001, when I was 21. Madrid is a city that never sleeps, and it felt like the first time I truly felt freedom.

It was really fun to go out, meet people, enjoy the nightlife and experience the vibrancy of the city.

I always say that that trip to Spain was my Goldilocks moment: I finally found where I belonged. And after seeing the world, I never wanted to return to the United States.

It took years for me to move to Spain

In my twenties, I didn’t see a clear possibility of living in Spain. I was in college and at the time there weren’t many options for Americans who wanted to move abroad.

At 26, I moved to Spain for a year to teach English, but then returned to Texas. At 29, I moved back and got my master’s degree, but eventually had to return to the States.

In America, I struggled to follow the traditional path to success. I never felt like I fit the mold—climb the corporate ladder, get married, have kids, work until you retire, and keep up with the neighbors.

I lived in Austin for a while, and as a childless woman in my mid-30s, I sometimes felt like the oldest person in the room when I went out.

I never had that feeling in Madrid. I noticed that it was completely normal to be a single woman without children. In fact, many of the people I met when I went out were my age or older. I knew that I really belonged in Spain.

At 35, I decided to give it one more try. I felt like I might regret it if I didn’t, so I moved there for the last time in 2015.

Nine years later, I am still here and now a citizen.

There are many reasons to live in Spain

I obtained Spanish citizenship at the age of 42, so just over 20 years have passed since my first visit to Spain.

In total, the process took two years, from the time I started gathering the documents to the moment I finally held my passport in my hand.

Obtaining Spanish citizenship was a great achievement for me because I had dreamed of living in Spain since I was 21.

I think what draws a lot of people to Spain is the Mediterranean climate. Coming from Texas, I need sun and warmth, and Spain has both in abundance.

Spain’s affordable cost of living compared to the US, high-quality healthcare and low crime rates also draw people to the country. Its vibrant culture and warm, welcoming people make it attractive.

It was difficult at first to find my footing

Establishing yourself in the country was exciting, but also scary.

When I moved to Spain, I lived in Madrid for five years. Now I have been in Malaga for almost four years.

Madrid is like the New York of Spain – busy, big and very international, with many cultural events.

Malaga, on the other hand, is a coastal city with a more relaxed beach atmosphere. It’s a smaller city where life moves at a slower pace, but still has an international feel.

I would say that I adapted to life in Spain pretty quickly, as I had visited the country before, but it took a few years to settle in and build a routine and community.

I love living here, but if I had to name one thing I personally complain about, it would be the lack of diversity.

I realize I’m from Houston, one of the most diverse cities in the U.S., so this comparison isn’t fair. However, the lack of diversity does affect some things, such as the availability of quality international restaurants.

Luckily, I can easily satisfy my desire for international cuisine by flying to Berlin, London or Paris.

It can be difficult to find an apartment

Finding permanent accommodation in Spain has always been a challenge and due to the housing shortage it is even more difficult today.

I know that property prices have increased worldwide over the years, but Spain has been hit particularly hard.

In Malaga, for example, where I now live, prices for both rentals and properties for sale have increased by around 20 to 25% in the last year alone.

If you want to move to a popular city like Madrid, Barcelona, ​​Valencia or Malaga, a one-bedroom apartment starts at around €1,200-1,300 (about $1,310-1,420). That may seem cheap by American standards, but for many Spaniards, that’s their monthly salary.

However, Spain remains affordable if you live outside the big cities, where reasonable prices are still available.

It is not always easy to get a work visa

Before moving to Spain, I worked in social media and had a marketing background.

When I came to Spain, I wanted to teach English, which I didn’t really want to do, but I knew I had to find a way to earn a living and get a work visa to be able to live here.

As an American, it is very difficult to get funding in Spain. Even if you have the required skills, you will have to prove that you have a unique skill that is not available in Europe.

I sent out resumes everywhere. I was very lucky. A Spanish startup was looking for an American with a marketing background and I happened to be in the right place at the right time.

While working for the company, it took me a year to start my own business.

I am the founder of She Hits Refresh, a community-based company that helps women move abroad. Specifically, we support women from the US who want to move to Europe, but we also serve women from Canada and the UK.

We started our Facebook group in 2017. In 2019 we officially registered as a company.

Our community includes 14,000 Facebook members and 30,000 Instagram followers. We also offer a premium membership program without a Facebook subscription.

We offer resources and support to our members through two programs: a four-day masterclass that teaches participants what they need to do to move internationally, and a paid membership program that guides them through the entire moving process from start to finish.

Many of the women who come to our company have three main concerns: their careers, their community, and whether they are making the right decision.

I always tell my clients that, just like in life, there are no guarantees. You can’t know if it will work until you try. But you can do your due diligence and have a plan in place before you start to better set yourself up for success.

I should have moved earlier

There are definitely aspects of life in the US that I miss, like friends, family, and sometimes the culture.

For example, when I’m on TikTok and I see a cultural reference or an inside joke, I miss that connection to people who understand it.

I also miss the culture of convenience in the US, such as 24-hour stores and the level of customer service.

I also miss driving, even though I don’t drive in Spain. I didn’t need a car because everything is very easy to reach on foot and public transport is well connected.

Moving abroad is more than just a change of location – it’s a change in your life.

Many women end up down paths they didn’t choose or find themselves in situations they don’t want to be in. Moving to another part of the world offers the opportunity to reinvent ourselves and build the life we ​​want.

Living in Spain has brought me joy and relaxation. Life here feels simpler and has alleviated some of the stressors I faced in the US, such as the pressure to measure success by job titles and salaries.

I freed myself from these expectations and redefined what success means to me.

My only regret is that I didn’t take the step sooner.