As anyone who’s tired of dating apps will tell you, there are too many profile options to wade through, and many of them are just laughably bad.
From a comedic perspective, it was a golden opportunity. Lane Moore, a comedian and writer, has hosted “Tinder Live” for ten years, where she swipes on real profiles in front of an audience.
While rude or bizarre bios often cause collective groans, Moore said she was surprised by how many really normal, nice people had repulsive profiles.
“I hear this from so many men after Tinder Live shows who say, ‘Oh, I didn’t know that sounded like that,'” Moore told Business Insider. “They don’t realize that something you might say to a friend who has the same tone of voice and knows who you are comes across really awful on the apps.”
Lane Moore hosts “Tinder Live.” Mindy Tucker
Moore, who also helps clients revamp their dating app profiles, knows how difficult it is to create a profile that stands out from the crowd. Unlike meeting strangers in real life, “we have to condense everything we are into a few sentences and a few photos, which is not easy,” she says.
In her decade as a host of Tinder Live and her experience editing bios, she has come across a few mistakes time and time again. She shared the three most common mistakes she makes time and time again.
Being too negative or judgmental
Moore said she’s still surprised by the amount of negativity that appears on dating app profiles. Examples include: “‘Why are you putting up a group photo if you’re not even the hottest?’ ‘No fat people, no single moms.’ ‘I don’t want to hear about your kid’ – you’re just yelling at the person you’re going to date and making them feel like trash right now,” she said.
In particular, she sees a lot of negative lists of dealbreakers instead of people revealing more positive things about themselves or what they are looking for in a partner.
Lead with group photos
At the beginning of her show, Moore had a segment called “Which One Is It?” in which the audience tried to guess who the profile author was in the group photo.
“There are only 10 Jasons, and sometimes when you even swipe to the second photo, there are multiple people in it, the third photo has multiple people,” she said. “All genders do it. Nobody likes it.”
She still can’t believe people don’t crop out her friends or rearrange the photos so the group photo isn’t the first one.
“Recently, a program showed a photo that had 30 people in the main photo,” she said. “If someone is only relying on one photo, how can they show their best side?”
Don’t be vulnerable
Moore said she often has to help her clients redesign their profiles to be more vulnerable. Instead of being open about their passions or what they’re looking for, people often post the same viral jokes or stories.
“I think there needs to be a little more seriousness and humanity, honestly,” she said. “But I think people are so afraid of it. Then they make their demands or shout about what they hate about this app. That’s not how you build a connection with someone.”
Although it seems scary to be so honest, Moore says it works better than hiding behind dealbreakers or group photos. Occasionally, she stumbles upon a real profile on “Tinder Live.” The room always goes “ooh.”
