I was laid off from my previous job in December. When I started looking for a new job at age 30, I wanted to make sure it was one where I felt like I could contribute a lot. I found a job posting on LinkedIn for a VP of Human Resources position, which seems ironic given what happened next.
I looked at the job description and knew it was a fit with what I had done before. I researched the company and its core values, which – again, ironically – I liked. When I applied, the recruiter contacted me and said my background also fit what they were looking for.
The interview was conducted via video. I wore a black blazer and a collared shirt, both pressed. I wore small gold earrings. I had blow-dried hair and beige nails. In other words, everything was appropriate work attire.
But I didn’t wear any makeup.
I didn’t think it was a big deal – but apparently it was to her.
Melissa Weaver on a Zoom call without makeup, which she said did not impress a potential employer
I thought the interview went really well. I had good answers to the questions. Because I have a background in recruiting, I know how to interview people. It was supposed to be 30 minutes, but it turned out to be more like 40. I was very optimistic when the interview was over – but a few days after the interview, I got an email from the recruiter saying that I matched their expectations in terms of experience and that my values aligned with theirs, but they were not going to pursue my application.
Why not? I decided to ask for feedback.
She wrote back and said she was worried because I didn’t put enough effort into my appearance.
My reaction was shock. First, that someone would write something like that in an email. But more so, that this is actually still happening in 2024. I was so excited about the company and knew I was right for the role. I can only assume she mentioned makeup as a concern because there was nothing else that ruled me out. So did that mean that my lack of makeup made me somehow less qualified or less excited about the job? That was just beyond me.
I don’t wear that much makeup for a few reasons. First, makeup is expensive. There’s a reason cosmetics is a billion dollar industry. And it’s also just not something I enjoy doing. I have a lot of friends who like to spend 45 minutes to an hour on their makeup. It’s their zen time and good for them, but I prefer to invest in my skincare. My dermatologist and I are on first name terms.
In the comments on a TikTok I made about this experience, people said things like, “I actually heard that I wore too much makeup to my interview.” Or, “I shouldn’t wear red lipstick because that’s too much of a power play.” One woman said she’s gotten more orders at work since she started wearing makeup. For another, it was losing weight. Reading that—in 2024—how we look somehow correlates with our ability to do our jobs is very disheartening.
Many people use makeup to enhance their facial features, but the idea that this is a requirement is kind of crazy.
I was dressed smartly for the interview. Dressing well shows that you are excited about the job and take it seriously. This applies to men and women alike. In recruiting, I never judged someone if they wore makeup or if a man had long hair, as long as it was well-groomed. One time, someone came to a video interview wearing pajamas. In that case, I thought, “I’m not sure this is appropriate for a management position.”
The fact is that makeup is only for women. Men are not expected to use makeup or know how to contour or whatever.
It might have been even more shocking if the comment had come from a man, as I have worked in recruitment and have never seen a male colleague comment on a woman’s makeup. Perhaps it is the case with women that they wear it themselves and therefore expect it from another woman.
I don’t think this experience will necessarily change how I think about job hunting because I want to be part of a company that has a supportive culture and doesn’t have the kind of expectations that women have to wear makeup. Making sure companies have an inclusive culture is incredibly important to me.
I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to judge an entire company based on one person, although recruiters are usually the face of the company – or the first face you see. So that’s something to keep in mind. I don’t think I could learn everything I want to know about the company culture from the first person I meet, or even the first few people. That’s why I value a hiring process with multiple interviews with different people. As exhausting as some people may find that, I value it because you get a feel for a lot of different people in the company.
Many people agreed with Melissa’s view after she shared her experiences on TikTok
Others had received similar responses, including one that suggested the interviewee lose weight
What I’ve always loved about working in HR is that you get to deal with people, so I want to find an employer with an inclusive culture where I can contribute to that, where it’s about women supporting women and men supporting women. It’s given me an extra boost knowing what I’m passionate about and what I really want to bring to a company.
I didn’t reply to the recruiter because I thought it wouldn’t make a difference. Several people encouraged me to forward their email to the company’s HR manager. I don’t know if I will do that. There’s also the fear of being blacklisted.
HR can be stressful, but at the end of the day I enjoy it. I like working with people, and that’s why I know I want to stay in this industry.
I didn’t create TikTok to disparage the company or anything like that. I never wanted to make it a crusade. I just wanted to hear people’s opinions, and if that sparks a conversation, then I’m happy about it. Many of the comments I received were supportive and calling out a double standard. The fact that so many of them were encouraging made me feel positive and reassured that just because a recruiter thinks so, it doesn’t mean it’s the majority opinion.
As originally published in Business Insider.
