Sometimes an eye test is all you need. The Chicago White Sox passed the eye test. They are as bad at baseball as professional baseball players can be.
That would be obvious even if you didn’t have access to their season record, which includes a 14-game losing streak and a 21-game losing streak, a record that stood at 28-90 as of Saturday morning, for a winning percentage of .237. That puts them firmly in the running to challenge the 1962 Mets, whose 40-120 record yielded a winning percentage of just .250 and was long the gold standard — perhaps even the zinc standard — for baseball uselessness.
You’ll have to look a little to find White Sox games, as they aren’t necessarily featured on ESPN and Fox, but Yankees fans will get their fix of slapstick this week when the Yankees play three games against the ChiSox at Guaranteed Rate Field, which should be rated NC-17 on YES broadcasts.
NC as in “not competitive”.
How bad is it?
Here’s how bad it is: This week, the good folks at Strat-O-Matic ran a simulated best-of-seven series between the 1924 White Sox and the 1962 Mets—a sort of “Appall Classic” instead of a Fall Classic.
There was a Game 7, of course, because you can’t lose them all, even two teams that can lose as well as the 1924 Sox and the 1962 Mets. And in Game 7, Jay Hook went the distance and Sammy Taylor hit a grand slam in the fourth inning and the Mets took a 7-5 win. That’s fitting, because in the simulated season that the Strat-O-Matic team also ran for the 1924 White Sox, they were 41-121 – which would give the Sox the most losses ever, but still gives the original Mets the honor of having the worst losing percentage since baseball expanded in 1961, at .250-.253.
One more word: I’d still be stunned if the White Sox hadn’t struggled to, say, 45 wins. It’s hard to lose that many games. That’s just the way it is. There were few teams as offensive to the eyes as the 2003 Tigers, the last team to mount a serious season-long attack on the 1962 Mets. And they were right there, too.
Baseman Frank Thomas, who enabled St. Louis pitcher Dob Gibson to safely reach first base in the fourth inning,
the Polo Grounds in New York on July 8, 1962. ASSOCIATED PRESS
After 156 games, the score was 38-118, and then things were going really well. After 160 games, the score was still 41-119, well within reach. In the 161st game, the Twins – who were only 49 games ahead of them in the AL Central – took an 8-0 lead in the fifth inning. Casey and Marvelous Marv would soon have company at 120! But the Tigers made a comeback, scoring four runs in the eighth inning and then winning in the ninth inning on a walk-off wild pitch from… (watch out!)… 46-year-old Jesse Orosco, the last pitch of a 24-year major league career. The next day, they won 7-4 and settled for 43-119.
Old Jesse had made one last save for his old team, the Mets, and thus preserved their sole place in baseball infamy.
“It’s funny, the weird dynamic of being that bad is that sometimes you win games you shouldn’t win because other teams that are still playing important games get nervous because if they lose a game to you, it’s almost like they’ve lost twice,” Hook told me years ago. And it’s true: The Giants and Dodgers were tied for the championship that year, and the Giants won a playoff that wouldn’t have been necessary had the Dodgers beat the Mets 17-1 instead of 16-2.
“And that bothered them,” Hook said. “I know because they told me.”
Frankly, the 1962 Mets have handled this thing well for the last 62 years, but it’s probably time to pass the torch — or in this case, the match — to a new generation of bad guys. The 1973 Sixers probably won’t be popping corks if a team ever loses its 74th game (we didn’t hear a peep from either of them when the 2012 Bobcats “outdid” their winning percentage in a lockout-shortened 7-59 season). And I can’t recall any celebrations from the 1976 Buccaneers when they saw their 0-14 record surpassed by circumstance by the 1908 Lions and the 1917 Browns’ infamous 0-16.
Some records are not meant to be broken. But some are meant to be broken out of compassion.
Vacs punches
I think if Jazz Chisholm plays his cards right, this could be the beginning of a wonderful friendship between him and Yankees fans.
The Globetrotters begin a 10-day stay at American Dream on Friday. Between games and practices, they’ll open their first-ever store, featuring memorabilia and other unique items like this one unearthed from their archives this week: a signed Curly Neal jersey. The Globies are always worth the trip, this time to East Rutherford.
She couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see her father’s team play so close to her home in Washington state. That’s why Sarah Seaver Zaske and her family will be sitting next to the Mets’ dugout in Seattle on Sunday when the Amazin’s take on the M’s. “The Mets don’t come to this part of the country very often and we just had to be there,” she said. “It’ll be great to be able to shout ‘Let’s go Mets’ again.”
Speaking of the franchise…I was convinced back in April that if the Mets ever let Pete Alonso go, there would be a torch and pitchfork revolt at Citi Field, similar to when the Mets traded Seaver to the Reds in 1977. Now…well, now I’m not so sure. What do you say, Mets fans?
Strike back at Vac
Peter Colford: Here’s a question for you: Who will win more games this year, the Giants or the Nets?
vacuum: I know the Nets are gearing up for a big Tankapalooza. But there’s a reason the 1973 Sixers held the 9-73 record for so long: It’s hard to lose that many games in the modern NBA. So… Nets.
Rich LePetri: You surprised me by leaving out Mark Messier in today’s column about captains. Was there a reason for that? I’m just curious.
vacuum: Although Messier is the best example of a true captain of all time, all NHL teams have captains. In the NBA and MLB, this is less common. However, it requires an explanation.
@drschnip: Pedro Grifol, who was fired by the White Sox with a .319 winning percentage and both a 21- and 14-game losing streak this season, still has a higher winning percentage than three Jets head coaches with more than five games coached: Lou Holtz, Rich Kotite and Adam Gase.
@MikeVacc: Just in case you thought the last 56 years were all just a dream.
Alex Burton: I read an article this week about why Aaron Judge honors Brett Gardner with a specific gesture to the crowd before each game. Isn’t it time the Yankees held a day to honor Brett, a successful Yankee with a long career – and at the time of his retirement, the last connection to the 2009 champions?
vacuum: I’ve heard from so many Yankees fans for years who couldn’t wait for Gardner (not Alex) to be gone, and who I suspect would very much like to have his effort and energy on the team now.
