As I was filling out our younger son’s online school registration the other day, I suddenly realized: This is the last time I’m doing this.
Unfortunately, our little nest is almost empty.
Our son will soon be 18 and will be entering 12th grade this year. Our 22-year-old son just graduated from college and works at a private school for adults with special needs in Birmingham, Alabama.
I remember one day in my 40s doing the math on my status as an older father. I was 48 when our younger son was born. “Well…” I thought. “I’ll be 66 when he graduates from high school and 68 when he turns 20.”
Oops, I thought.
I remember wondering if I could actually stay employed well into my sixties – and that I would have to work at least long enough to pay for my studies.
Well, at 66, I can, and that’s what I did.
My wife, a public school employee, continues to work hard and is approaching the 30-year retirement age.
Before becoming a father for the first time at 43 and then for the second time at 48, I was nervous. I had chosen a career where there were daily deadlines and sloppy work could lead to a lawsuit. I had wondered if I would be burned out and unhappy by the time I was 65.
As with most stressful times in my life, my worries were over the top. I have been blessed beyond measure. My health, while not perfect, is good enough to get me through. My mind seems to be working reasonably well, although I sometimes have trouble remembering a name. (If I’m being honest, I’ve never been good with names.)
Looking back, it was the best time of my life to see the boys grow into men. It makes me proud to see how my offspring’s personalities develop.
Our older son is smart, compassionate and resourceful. We are proud that he has chosen a helping profession that embodies Christian principles.
(READ MORE: Son home from college, greatest gift.)
Our younger son is now a workaholic. In addition to full-time school, he works retail at Ace Hardware and does side jobs as a landscaper and construction worker. He sometimes thinks about using at least part of his college fund to start a small business, and honestly, that’s probably where things are headed.
(READ MORE: When your kids work harder than you.)
Given my personal situation, I find it ironic that the current presidential election seems to revolve around a couple of issues that cause me a lot of headaches: aging and raising children.
At what age is one too old to be president? I think we’ll find out. At what age is one too old to be a parent? I have some thoughts there.
I’m kind of glad the nation is finally talking about the importance of families and children. While having children or not is 100% a personal choice, great nations cannot thrive without adequate reproduction. And public policies that reduce the financial burden of raising children – through tax policy, for example – are essential.
There is a lot of talk about young adults postponing parenthood or deciding not to have children altogether because the costs of daycare, etc. are too high. Hardly anyone, however, hears that people are trying to convince older people – say in their late 30s or early 40s – to reconsider the question of having children.
As someone who has been through it all, I would like to report that the water is fine. I just can’t imagine repeating my life without the boys. If you are in that age group and considering having kids, know that it can be a good decision and that your life can be enriched immeasurably as a result.
And, God willing, you will live long enough to experience the exciting process of watching your children grow up.
The “Family Life” column appears Sundays. Contact Mark Kennedy at [email protected] or 423-757-6645.
