Yes, yes, yes, here we are again.
And I’m pretty sure that at least one or two of you pigskin fanatics have already gotten a head start and have already pulled out the Coleman tailgating grill, set it up in the driveway and grilled up a few hot dogs. While you’re checking to see if the lawn chairs you picked up at a flea market are sturdy enough to last a whole season?
You just want to make sure everything works, right?
Or pulling out the Red Rage Era Helmet Bowl signed by Vince Gibson and then putting delicious Black Jewel Gourmet Heritage corn in it. (The best.)
You know who you are.
Wear preparation as a badge.
So, without further ado: back for another round.
Welcome back to Planet Chinstrap, the most reliable football score prediction tool for the last twelve years in a row.
So let’s get started.
With a season opener on Cypress Avenue in the Land o’ Van. It makes sense that the Fighting Irish would open there. Seminoles and Engineers, what, what?
I don’t understand it. It’s like the email I got from Subaru this morning telling me I was out of windshield washer fluid before my dashboard even showed it. Which is weird enough in itself.
But college football, that’s my thing.
Let’s start with the winners of week 0:
Georgia Tech vs. Florida State (Dublin, Ireland). Florida State, which, as you know, is looking for a new home, is the only school that finished last season more embarrassingly than my beloved Cardinals. They got robbed, the undefeated Noles, were left out of the CFP, and all that. Such bullshit. Buuuuuut, instead of acting like a man and proving to the world the stupidity of that insult by running over a damn good Georgia team in the Orange Bowl, Florida State didn’t even show up. 3-63. What makes this joker wonder about the courage and determination Mike Norvell is fostering in Tallahassee? They’re back in the thick of it, the conference favorites. But I have to ask, where are their heads? Meanwhile, Brent Key’s up-and-coming charges, led by Haynes King, pounded the Bulldogs like they would a 24-point underdog and then beat Central Fla as a five-point underdog in Gasparilla. Which brings me to this. My first damn prediction for the upcoming long season. Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech.
State of Montana @ New Mexico. Lobo football has been nowhere. Literally. There have been no bowl games since 2016. And the last four of those have all been at home. Which certainly had nothing to do with the increased attendance. There’s a new sheriff in Albuquerque, a guy you might remember from Charlottesville, where he roamed the sidelines. Bronco Mendenhall. He has to start his era in the unenviable position of playing against FCS perennial power Montana State. Brent Vigen’s Bobcats won’t be giving NM’s new mentor a particularly warm welcome.
Southern Methodist @ Nevada. Rhett Lashlee’s Mustangs are a dark horse that could make a splash in the ACC. They finished their AAC tenure with an upset win over Tulane in Willie Fritz’s finale on beautiful St. Charles Street before taking the streetcar to Houston. SMU was 11-3, although they faced a Green Monster in the Fenway Bowl and lost to BC. The new Wolf Pack coach is Jeff Choate, last seen with the DC headset in Austin. He’s hoping to end a serious losing streak in Reno. 2-10 the last two seasons. Maybe in Week I at Troy, but not in the opening game. Ponies.
State of Delaware @ Hawaii. We hope the Hornets enjoy their time on the beach. On the field, they’ll get bombed like our Navy did at Pearl Harbor. Rainbow Warriors.
— CD Kaplan
