On August 6, Gabriel James Doe was uninvolved.
“And look at the family he has now,” said Pastor Travis Remme, one of the clergy at Wednesday’s memorial service for the infant who was found dead at Millennium Recycling in Sioux Falls.
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The funeral, attended by around 180 community members, was held at Miller Funeral Home – Southside Chapel and was also streamed live online. Burial followed the ceremony at Hills of Rest Cemetery. The wake was held from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Tuesday and attracted around 200 people who came to pay their last respects.
As of Wednesday morning, there were no new developments in the investigation into how the child ended up at the recycling center, said Sam Clemens, spokesman for the Sioux Falls Police Department. Little is known about the child’s origins or how he got to the facility.
Still, manager and funeral director Matthew Koball said it is a firm tradition at Miller Funeral Home to offer free services to all children ages 17 and under.
“Any time someone loses their child, it’s a difficult time. It’s not the natural course of things,” Koball said. “It’s really the least we can do to give back to the community because it’s the right thing to do.”
Koball said he deeply understands the traumatic and heartbreaking grief of parents who have lost a young child, as he and his wife have lost two young children themselves.
“Unfortunately, we do a lot of funerals for young children, but nothing is like this,” Koball said. “For me, this is kind of a first.”
Koball said the Miller Funeral Home immediately received “tremendous support and encouragement from the community” offering to help or showing their support. Flowers were donated by The Flower Mill and volunteers from Avera McKennan made the baby’s outfit.
Nevertheless, says Koball, “the smallest coffins are the heaviest to carry.”
Those in attendance filed solemnly into the chapel, where baby Gabriel was surrounded by flowers, teddy bears and toy cars. Floating among these symbols of remembrance and love was a single balloon in the shape of a blue star.
Every seat was taken, others were further back and in an overflow area. Some carried small children on their hips, Gabriel’s new brothers and sisters. Their occasional tears during the service reflected the collective emotions of those who filled the chapel.
People wearing T-shirts with the words “Millennium Recycling” were also present and moved to tears, but they did not want to comment on the loss.
A large bouquet of wildflowers from the recycling center team simply said, “We found you and we love you.”
In addition to Remme of Rock Community Church in Rock Rapids, Iowa, and his wife Jessica Remme, Pastor Katherine, director of pastoral care at Dow Rummel Village, and Reverend John Helmueller of the Diocese of Sioux Falls led the service.
“For a brief and fleeting moment, an angel with tiny wings and arrows and sweet, gentle angelic voices blessed the lives of others with beauty and grace. Those who saw the angel knew God had kissed his little face,” Jessica Remme said during the service. “An angel came for reasons we may not understand, a short journey with such great gifts and guided by God’s hand. So rest now little angel, your work on earth is finished in the beauty of God’s perfect love, we have sought his gift in you.”
Jessica Remme is also the founder of the Oaklyn Foundation, a nonprofit organization honoring Jessica and Travis Remme’s daughter Oaklyn, who passed away on January 4, 2018 from postpartum complications. The goal of the organization is to provide emotional, financial and educational assistance and support to families experiencing the loss of a child.
“There just isn’t a lot of support for families after a loss. And so God put this nonprofit on our hearts and we’ve been fortunate to be able to give back to over 1,000 families across the United States and Canada since 2018,” said Jessica Remme. “Last August, we launched our funeral program, where we partner with Miller and other funeral homes in the area to pay for caskets and urns for those under the age of 16. Since launching in August of last year, we’ve paid out over $46,000 worth of funeral expenses to families for every child under the age of 16.”
The Oaklyn Foundation, along with the Angel Lee Cronin Memorial Fund, donated to the funeral.
Koball approached Jessica and Travis Remme and asked the couple if they would do him the honor of naming the child.
“Travis and I sat down and read some Bible verses, and Gabriel James spoke to us, and it was an absolute honor to be able to name him,” said Jessica Remme.
Gabriel means “God is my strength” and James describes him as “the one who follows.”
Jessica and Travis Remme said they were both devastated when they heard the news of the baby being found at the Sioux Falls recycling center.
“I mean, as a mother who has lost a child, I know that pain especially,” Jessica Remme said. “I can’t even imagine what that mother must have been thinking or going through or what her circumstances must have been to feel like she had no choice or whatever it may be. It’s a reminder to check on your people.”
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The service ended with the congregation singing “Jesus Loves Me” while members of the Sioux Falls Police Department Honor Guard carried young Gabriel to his final resting place.
Participants gathered in the warmth and heat of the sun among the trees and green grass to say their final goodbyes, some knowing they would soon return to visit Gabriel James.
“He will not be alone, our family will come to visit him,” said Jessica Remme. “He is now an important part of our family and he will not sit here alone. We will always remember him.”
