What to write in an engagement card

Someone in your life is engaged—and what better way to send some congratulations than with a sweet, heartfelt card? It’s a small gesture that can make a huge difference for both the sender (that would be you!) and the happy couple, guiding them into this new chapter of life with words of encouragement and support. And who knows? Your card may be kept as a treasured keepsake in a scrapbook or keepsake box for generations to come. Not to mention, your friends will be filled with joy when they see that you took the time to pen a note in honor of their engaged status.

Here’s another reason why writing an engagement card is a great idea: it’s not a difficult task! All you have to do is write down a few heartfelt words and you’re done. Plus, we’ve made your job easier with our guide to writing an engagement card. Below you’ll find all the pro tips you need, as well as several examples to inspire you to create your own card.

Are engagement cards necessary?

Engagement cards aren’t necessary, but they’re always appreciated. “A gift (and that’s ultimately a beautiful card) is never ‘necessary,’ but I think it’s a nice gesture that makes a couple feel loved and celebrated at a special time, and it costs, what, $4.99?” says bridal and lifestyle influencer Justina Sharp. “Absolutely a worthwhile price to add a little magic to the moment.”

And it will make you feel good, too. “Research shows that expressing gratitude and congratulations has enormous benefits for both the giver and the recipient,” says etiquette expert Jo Hayes. “It can increase feelings of well-being, gratitude and appreciation, and promote healthy, successful relationships.” Hayes also adds that it’s “appropriate and extremely kind” to send an engagement card, with or without a gift.

What to write in an engagement card

Don’t overthink it! The message doesn’t have to be long or full of good advice or shared memories – it can be short and sweet. “A simple card expressing your heartfelt congratulations is all you need,” says Hayes. Something as simple as “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you and grateful to be a part of your life journey together” works well. If you’re close to the couple, feel free to add a personal note or a fond memory, or share why you think they’re so perfect for each other.

But no matter what you write, be warm, thoughtful and sincere in your words. “The most important thing to write in the card is how you felt when you heard the news of the engagement,” says etiquette expert Nick Leighton. “It doesn’t have to be long, but it does have to be sincere.” Also, remember that tone doesn’t always come across as intended in the written word, so keep it direct. “This is not the time to try new jokes, be snarky or make subtle jabs at anyone in the couple,” says Sharp, who advises avoiding inside jokes or hints about wedding plans. “You’re not asking for a wedding invitation, you’re congratulating them on what’s happening!” Leighton agrees, adding, “Avoid anything that suggests you’re expecting a wedding invitation.”

The most important rules for engagement card etiquette

Anyone can send an engagement card; you don’t have to be best friends with the bride or groom to write one. But before you start jotting things down, be sure to keep the following etiquette rules in mind when writing your heartfelt congratulations.

Choose a blank card – and write a personal message.

Leighton recommends choosing a blank card rather than one with a pre-printed message, as it looks more authentic. This is also time to treat yourself to a “nicer” card made of thicker cardstock instead of something you could get for $2. That said, if you have the opportunity to upgrade your deck of cards, do it!

Send the card quickly.

Again, timing is important; don’t wait too long to share your congratulations. Send your card within a month of the engagement news, if possible, recommends Hayes.

Do not use the couple’s married titles.

Address the card to the couple, not to “Mr. and Mrs.,” since they are not yet married. “Traditionally, future grooms are still addressed as ‘Mr.’ and future brides as ‘Mrs.’ since they are not yet officially married,” explains wedding expert Hovik Harutyunyan.. “For a fun, modern twist, you can address the envelope ‘To the future couple/future Mr. and Mrs./future Mr. and Mr./future Mrs. and Mrs.’ For cross-gender arrangements, you can address it ‘To the happily engaged couple’, ‘To my favorite lovebirds/soulmates/life partners/couples’, ‘The future bride and groom’, or ‘To the future Mx. & Mx.'”

Consider including a celebratory gift.

If you are close to the couple, you can also send a small gift to celebrate the day, such as a bottle of champagne or a couple of champagne glasses. Trust us, the couple will really appreciate it.

Examples of messages on engagement cards

Need a little inspiration to spark your creativity? If you can’t wait to get started, check out some of our favorite engagement card examples below.

A simple message for an engagement card

Love (names),
Congratulations on your engagement! We wish you the warmest wishes for the next chapter of your life.
Love,
(Name)

A personal message for the engagement card

Love (names),
Congratulations on your engagement! I’m so happy that my best friend found her perfect soul mate. I wish you the happiest marriage!
Love,
(Name)

An engagement card with message for siblings

Love (names),
Congratulations on your engagement! I’m so happy for you, little brother/little sister/big brother/big sister… and welcome to the family, (partner’s name)! We’re so glad you’re here.
Love,
(Name)

A cheerful engagement card message

Love (names),
Congratulations on your wonderful news! It’s great that you two are finally putting a ring on it. Let’s make it official, shall we?
Love,
(Name)

A memorable engagement card message

Love (names),
Congratulations on your engagement! Who would have thought that a chance meeting in a Spanish restaurant would turn into the romance of the century? You two give me hope for love!
Love,
(Name)

A pop culture influenced engagement card message

Love (names),
Congratulations! When I say I’ve never met a more perfect couple, I mean it. You two are the John Legend and Chrissy Teigan of our circle of friends. Love you!
Love,
(Name)

A sweet message for an engagement card

Love (names),
Congratulations! You are absolutely made for each other. I’m so glad you think so too. I wish you all the best as you tie the knot.
Love,
(Name)

A heartfelt engagement card

Love (names),
Congratulations! Words cannot describe how happy I am for you both. I am excited to watch you take the next steps in your journey.
Love,
(Name)

A romantic engagement card message

Love (names),
Congratulations on your engagement! May your wedding bring you all the joy you deserve. I am so happy for you two lovebirds.
Love,
(Name)

A funny message for an engagement card

Love (names),
Congratulations on your great news! Remember: never laugh at your partner’s decisions – you are one of them now.
Love,
(Name)